because these things will change

[SHERILYNN ANNALISA CARTWRIGHT]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 475px; height: 500px; background-image: url(http://i1086.photobucket.com/albums/j451/corrupted-angel/SherilynnThread1.png); -moz-border-radius: 20px; border-radius:20px 20px 20px 20px; border: 2px solid #000000;] Tags / Credits TAGGED :: ANTWUAN / DUSTY WORDS :: 621 OUTFIT :: click me NOTES :: hope this is an okay place to start? CREDIT :: thread template made by callista, no stealing or i'll gut you. because these things will change Sherilynn had woken up that morning only to rush to the bathroom and find the door locked, next best thing? Puking out a window. The look she’d gotten for that had been more attention than she’d gotten from her parents in awhile but that didn’t change that it made her feel like a leper. She’d quickly gotten dressed and ready to spend a day out of the house, weekends were always the worst because she couldn’t stay around her parents but she didn’t really have a lot of places she could go otherwise. She’d pulled on some clothes done her makeup fast and nearly ran out of the house after tucking a bottle of water and poptart into her purse. Her mother had been making breakfast for herself and her father, no question of “do you want some” for her…but that was normal these days. She hated how being ignored by her parents had become “normal” in her mind…that wasn’t how it was supposed to be with your family but she couldn’t exactly argue it since it was her own fault. Seventeen, just over three months pregnant and no clue who the father was? Yeah. All her own stupid fault that her parents didn’t want anything to do with her now. At least they hadn’t kicked her out of the house…that would have been a nightmare. Walking toward the park she found herself some bench space to sit and just get her head sorted for the day, to wake up the rest of the way and try to figure out what she’d do for the day. Saturdays normally meant library time doing homework but she’d forgotten to grab her backpack and she wasn’t gonna go back to the house to get it. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair glancing around at the empty park and pulled out her poptart opening the silver-wrapper since now that she’d lost the large amounts of ‘nothing’ in her stomach she could normally try eating something. Today was a success and she got up moving to throw away the wrapper and checked in her bag glad to see she’d put her wallet back into her purse after ordering some stuff online the night before. She knew she was lucky to have the card she’d gotten for her seventeenth birthday that was linked to the account with her life’s savings to this point because that was all she had to take care of getting anything she needed now. She planned to be very careful with that money…well after she bought herself a hot chocolate. Walking again she headed into the nearest starbucks ordering her drink and paying, glancing around she realized most of the tables were filled up and headed back out to wander some more. She still didn’t know what to do for the day but she let her feet wander where they wanted as she sipped her warm drink. She was glad there wasn’t any rain today and that the weather was nice since she figured maybe spending the day outside would be better than wandering place to place killing time and trying to slip past the “if you don’t order something you can’t sit here” rule. She was learning to hate that rule these days, but she did understand it since sometimes places got busy and the seats were needed. Looking up as flashing lights caught her eye she realized where she’d ended up and smiled a little to herself as she looked around times square. The people moving around were entertaining to watch and she found a spot out of the way so she wouldn’t get bumped into as she just watched people pass and let her own thoughts wander.

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[ANTWUAN DE'RYAN ROSS]

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De was abruptly awakened by the sound of kids playing outside. He hated being woken up, it was what he hated the most. He valued the little sleep he got and when someone deprived him of his sleep all hell was going to break loose. He rubbed his eyes and walked to his window, “Ay, what tha hell are yall doin out here? Yall know I'm tryin to sleep so take yall little bad asses some where else.” He yelled at the kids hoping they would stop making so much noise. Since he was awake now, he knew there was no way he would be able to go back to sleep. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. He sat there for a while. He sat there thinking, thinking about his future, thinking about his life. He knew he wasn’t taking the best path but he had to chase that paper. Money was something he loved. He needed money, not to buy food or clothes, but to buy women. He knew it was pretty low but he didn’t even care. It was him, and nothing could change him.

After sitting there for a while he finally got up, it was the weekend and he was ready to party. He never took time to pick an outfit. He would just walk over to his closet, grab a shirt, grab some pants, grab some shoes, and he was done. After he got dressed he grabbed his wallet and phone and headed out the door. He hardly ever drove his car, he was afraid of messing it up. His car was his baby; it’s where a large portion of his money went. His car was like a chick magnet, he pimped it out so the ladies would come chasing after him. So today he chose to walk, he didn’t know where exactly he was walking to but he was sure he would run into one of his homeboys and they would kick it. His house wasn’t too far from Times Square so for now that’s where he was headed.

He strolled along on the sidewalk, occasionally passing by another person. He finally reached Times Square and he stopped. He looked around at the people that were there. He glanced around and then BOOM, there she was. He didn’t know who she was but she looked kind of familiar. He was the type that remembered a face, he couldn’t forget a face. So it was killing him that he didn’t know exactly who she was or where he knew her from. Him being the cocky confident man he was he walked up to her, “Ay shawty, have we met be fo?” He knew he probably scared her. She looked like that goody goody type, the ones you see working hard in school and saying no to all the peer pressure. She was blonde, average height, and really pretty, and then he was black, skinny, tatted up, and had the faint smell of weed lingering on his clothes. “I don’t mean to come off as rude lil mamma; you just look familiar to me. Ya know what I mean?” He stepped back to get a better look at her, “Damn.” He mumbled under his breathe. He was racking his brain to remember her, but he just couldn’t remember.

It was like one of those moments were you know the answer to a question, it’s on the tip of your tongue, you just can’t get the answer out. De hated that feeling, maybe that’s why he dropped out of school. It was like the teachers always tried to make him feel stupid, like it was there goal. This feeling was starting to irritate him, he let out a grunt but it turned to a cough. I guess that’s what happens when you smoke too much, your lungs get bad and you can’t even grunt anymore. But De didn’t care; he was still going to smoke even if he was on his death bed. He’d be smoking a joint while he was dying, that would be a pretty good way to die. It would take a lot to make him quit and for now nothing was enough to do it.

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712 WORDS | COMPLETE | SHERILYNN | OUTFIT
LYRICS BY ALL TIME LOW | TEMPLATE BY ARRO
HOPE YOU CAN WORK WITH THIS.

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[SHERILYNN ANNALISA CARTWRIGHT]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 475px; height: 500px; background-image: url(http://i1086.photobucket.com/albums/j451/corrupted-angel/SherilynnThread1.png); -moz-border-radius: 20px; border-radius:20px 20px 20px 20px; border: 2px solid #000000;] Tags / Credits TAGGED :: ANTWUAN / DUSTY WORDS :: 813 OUTFIT :: click me NOTES :: Yep it’s fine =D CREDIT :: thread template made by callista, no stealing or i'll gut you. because these things will change Sherilynn kept to her spot on the square, watching the people pass and letting her thoughts wander. She’d managed to find plenty to think about with how he live was right now, she needed to find answers to the questions she kept asking herself about what she was going to do. She knew the easy answer was “give the baby up” and that honestly made the most sense in truth because of how young she was and how little she had to offer the baby as a mother. She knew things would be better off if she gave the baby to parents who would love and raise him/her to be a good person with a good life while taking care of them. The tough part was that didn’t fit into what her heart wanted. She didn’t want to give up the baby, she knew she hadn’t planned on getting pregnant for a few years but she wasn’t the type of girl who could just give up her flesh and blood to someone else and not have it break her heart. She needed to do what was best for the baby though not what was best for herself and her own heart, it was a matter of doing what was right and being responsible. She didn’t know who the father was, lived with parents who didn’t seem to think she existed anymore because of the pregnancy, and who would probably kick her out once she had the baby if not before then. She needed to get a job as it was because she wouldn’t have her savings forever because it would run out eventually. She glanced around Times Square again thinking now as she looked at the shops and chewed on her lip thinking. She wondered if maybe she should spend today collecting applications for jobs so she could get to finding the job that would help support her. Smartest to do it now rather than later because her parents could wake up one morning and decide they’re done dancing around her being there and kick her out…she’d need to get somewhere to live if that happened so she needed to be bringing in her own money to make sure that would be possible. Her thoughts were interrupted as she saw movement from the corner of her eye and a male voice cut across the distance between them. She looked over at him a little confused by the question and shook her head a little as she took in his face and appearance to see just in case she had actually met him before. I don’t think we have?

[/color] she said, her voice soft but clear as she spoke. She had to wonder what made him think they’d met before, they seemed like total opposites in the world with her being clean and white-as-snow and his being tatted and black. She wasn’t racist she just didn’t really have that many black friends so she remembered the ones she did have. She shifted her feet a little and nodded as he spoke again giving a pleasant smile. I know what you mean…Unless you go to brookwell…or have maybe hung out at some of the parties with kids from there I don’t think we would have met?[/color] she said thinking it was possible to meet just about anyone between the school and the parties she’d gone to with her ex but she figured she would have remembered this guy.

His mumbled Damn had her lifting an eyebrow as she resisted the urge to step back, not used to people looking at her so fully and feeling a little self-conscious of the tiny baby bump that was developing. She had picked a baggyish top to wear today to hide that tiny bump but had pulled on a sweater that pulled the shirt flat under it. Thing was if you didn’t know her you probably wouldn’t have guessed it was a baby instead of a few extra pounds that didn’t make it to her thighs or ass instead of her stomach. The giveaway would be the way her hand drifted to press their lightly as nerves lately had been causing to become a habit. Thinking about the baby or when she felt nervous of something her hand tended to drift that direction for whatever reason. Well that and being sick which as she caught a breath of the smoke from a vendor somewhere in the square would and was causing it as well. She tried to ignore the urge to find a bathroom to throw up or to skip the bathroom and leave her mark on the sidewalk in front of them. She knew it would pass but damn it was hard to ignore in the present and her skin paled a little as she kept her poptart and cocoa firmly locked into place through her own will.
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[ANTWUAN DE'RYAN ROSS]

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When she spoke it was obvious she was kind of nervous. It was understandable considering who it was standing in front of her randomly talking to her. I mean he would be kind of nervous to if some bad ass looking black person came up to him and started talking like some sort of stalker. What person wouldn’t be nervous around De? He was somewhat intimidating. Not because he was buff and scary but because he was so tatted up and talked so ghetto. He was bad news to most people. De couldn’t help but notice her hands drifting to her stomach, she definitely wasn’t fat so there was only one other option. She was pregnant. When she mentioned some brookwell parties it donged on him. A light bulb magically went off in his head. He knew her from one party he went to. She was there with her boyfriend. It was really obvious that she got wasted and wasn’t used to it. She was crazy. De didn’t even plan on going to that party but he’s a party goer he can’t resist a good party. “Ah shit. I saw you at a party a couple months ago. It got wild. But it was a pretty good night.” He didn’t elaborate; he figured she would know exactly what he was talking about. “So who tha babies daddy?” He asked out of curiosity, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her stomach. She looked too young to want to get pregnant so it must have been an accident. That question brought up another memory, he slept with this girl. He didn’t even think twice about it though. He always wore a rubber. But the thought still lingered in his head, she wasn’t more than a couple months pregnant, what if he did it? What if there was a little Antwuan in her stomach? What if he got totally wasted that night and forgot to put the rubber on? The thoughts were franticly roaming through his head. He was starting to freak himself out. “Nah” he answered his thoughts out loud. He tended to do that often, but he didn’t know why. He looked over at the girl again, she was looking a little sick. “Uhm, Cheryl nah um Cheyanne, nah nah uhm Sherilynn! Yeah that’s it do ya need to find a bathroom? I can take ya if you want.” He didn’t have anything better to do he might as well help out a girl he slept with at some party. Who knows the might become friends, or have more relations, or something of that sort. De could be a good friend. He just didn’t commit to many people so he didn’t have very many friends. He only had one or two female friends because most females were messy. Some people he automatically felt a need to befriend, that’s how it was with Sherilynn. He didn’t know if it was because she was vulnerable, or if she really seemed like the friend material but De was attracted to her for some reason. He stepped closer to her and looked at her face, she was pretty pale. He was tempted to touch her face gently but he fought the urge. He just re met her. It was obvious she needed to puke. He stepped beside her so he wasn’t in the splash zone. He was prepared to hold her hair back if she needed it. He grabbed her hand and started walking. “C’mon you need to find a bathroom before your breakfast ends up all over the side walk shawty.” Antwuan didn’t even care if she thought he was scary he was going to help her out. “Oh yeah and by the way, I'm Antwuan but you can call me De.” He said as he guided her down the path to the nearest bathroom. He thought about what others may think as he was walking down the sidewalk somewhat dragging a young white girl behind him. It may look somewhat suspicious but he didn’t give a damn. He was going to help this shawty out; she looked like she needed someone there for her. I mean what high school girl spends her weekends sitting watching people? She looked like she needed some excitement in her life.

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714 WORDS | COMPLETE | Sherilynn | OUTFIT
LYRICS BY ALL TIME LOW | TEMPLATE BY ARRO
I THINK THIS IS GOING PRETTY GOOD

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[SHERILYNN ANNALISA CARTWRIGHT]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 475px; height: 500px; background-image: url(http://i1086.photobucket.com/albums/j451/corrupted-angel/SherilynnThread1.png); -moz-border-radius: 20px; border-radius:20px 20px 20px 20px; border: 2px solid #000000;] Tags / Credits TAGGED :: ANTWUAN / DUSTY WORDS :: 727 OUTFIT :: click me NOTES :: I think so too though he might be seriously grossed out now lol xP CREDIT :: thread template made by callista, no stealing or i'll gut you. because these things will change Sherilynn didn’t really feel threatened by the guy, he’d been nice enough in how he spoke though very ghetto. She knew that in New York though you couldn’t always assume people were nice just because they acted it. She’d made the mistake before, wasn’t trying to make it again. She wondered if maybe she just looked like someone else he’d seen around or something since no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t remember him, and he wasn’t the sort of guy you forgot she figured. Watching as he seemed to put the puzzle pieces together to a bigger picture she hadn’t seen yet she listened as he mentioned a party a couple months ago. With the kind of party she figured she’d see him at she had to guess it was the one where she’d gotten drunk and ended up preggers at. Well wasn’t that a bit embarrassing? She barely remembered that night after getting drunk and bit her lip nodding a little, Yeah we probably met there…I don’t remember much of that party to be honest…

[/color] she said softly, she wouldn’t have gotten drunk if she hadn’t been trying to impress her boyfriend and his friends with her not being a goody-two-shoes but she still only had herself to blame.

She gave a little shrug at his question, surprised for a moment that he’d picked up on it then realized her hand had done it’s travel to her stomach again. I don’t know…[/color] she mumbled biting her lip. She knew it was her mistake so she’d own up to it, but that didn’t stop her cheeks from staining a little pink at admitting it. It um…happened at that party…I don’t really remember.[/color] she finished knowing if she didn’t just say outright she’d end up feeling a little like she was lying which while ridiculous was how her mind worked. She knew he probably had just seen her at the party and maybe hadn’t introduced himself or talked to her. There had been a lot of people there but she’d recently been trying to remember at least the males so she could see if she could find the alcohol-buried memory of who she’d ended up in an upstairs bedroom with. She wouldn’t go hunting down some random guy for child support or anything like that but knowing would at least make her feel better.

The sickness was something she was getting somewhat used to, didn’t make it pleasant or anything she wanted to deal with so often but it was what she expected. She needed to get away from the smells from whatever vending cart she was getting breaths of or she’d never keep her stomach from spilling everything. Listening as he tried out different names she nodded when he got hers right, a quick “oh so we were introduced” going through her mind, then considered the offer and nodded again thinking finding a bathroom was a damned good idea about now. She was losing the battle and the aftermath wouldn’t be pretty at all. She felt him take her hand let him guide her as she pressed her other hand to her mouth as she walked trying to add a second barrier. She listened to him talk and tried to focus on not breathing and the things around her that might distract from the feeling.

Hearing him introduce himself she lightly squeezed his hand in greeting so he wouldn’t think she was ignoring him since she couldn’t talk. Her stomach gave a more violent roll as she walked along with him and she stopped, her hand tightening on his a little without her meaning to, oh god…[/color] she mumbled between clenched teeth before gagging and turning away from him toward the edge of the sidewalk away from where people would be walking as she gave up her poptart and cocoa. Tears stinging her eyes as the heaves swept through her body and her face flamed red while the rest of her stayed pale. She felt more than embarrassed at the moment but just couldn’t help what was happening and tried to take shaky breaths between the dry heaves after the food and drink were gone hoping she could get control back fast. I’m so sorry…I’m sorry…[/color] she started mumbling her mouth on repeat as she took her shaky breaths when the heaving slowed and stopped.
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[ANTWUAN DE'RYAN ROSS]

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When she said she got pregnant at that party his brain screamed at him. OH SHIT! It all fit together, he took her when she was drunk and he was wasted himself, he must have forgot the rubber and now look, shes pregnant. De wasn’t ready for a kid. Maybe if he didn’t tell her she would never find out. But that’s not right he couldn’t do that to her. But he couldn’t tell her now. Shes already sick. His mind was racing with thoughts and his heart was pounding even faster. But he had to keep his cool. He couldn’t let the guilt show. This was worse than being interrogated by the cops. He didn’t want to leave the poor girl not knowing who the father to her child was. He kept his mouth shut for now.

When Sherilynn started to stop he knew they weren’t going to make it to the bathroom. She puked up everything, and De didn’t want to look. He just rubbed her back and said “Its coo shawty its coo” When she said she was sorry he had the urge to say no I'm sorry I did this to you, but he couldn’t let the words slip. “Don’t be sorry its not your fault.” His heart felt like it was about to explode. How the hell could he let this happen, he couldn’t believe it. Out of hundreds of women this is the one that has to get pregnant. De couldn’t stop himself from staring at her stomach. There was a little Antwuan in there, he felt himself getting weak. There was no way he could be a father. He wanted to collapse to his knees right there. He wanted to fall down and stay down. Why did this have to happen? As much as he didn’t want to tell her now, he might not see her again so maybe he should tell her while he had the chance. “Uhm shawty I gotta tell ya something.” He said in a weak voice. He didn’t know how to finish this, he didn’t know what to say. Maybe something like yeah I got ya pregnant at that party, then he could make a run for it. But that wouldn’t be right, that would be a bitch move right there, he couldn’t do that. He grabbed Sherilynn by the wrists and kind of played with her hands for a minute while he thought about what words to say.

“You wanna know who knocked ya up don’t ya?” He said looking into her eyes. She would probably see the fear in his eyes. He had a terrible fear of commitment. That’s why he couldn’t do relationships, that’s why he doesn’t need a baby. “I know ya don’t even no me like that, but shawty I think…” He stopped short, how the hell was he supposed to do this. It was to hard. He looked behind him, he could run now and she wouldn’t be able to find him, but that little voice in his head told him to stay. He needed to tell her, then she would be able to tell people who the daddy is. But then again her telling people De is the daddy might be worse than telling them she doesn’t know who the daddy is. Ugh, he couldn’t make up his mind. He took a deep breathe, he needed to smoke right now. He needed to get rid of this stress. “It was me bra, I did it, you got my baby in ya.” Finally he got it off his chest. Now he felt the need to tell her the whole story. “I went to the party to sell, uh I went to the party to do some business.” He didn’t want to give away he was a drug dealer yet. “I had a couple beers, well maybe a few mo than a couple, then I saw you shawty. You was all ova me so I took ya upstairs and we did tha do.” He tried to remember some more. “Uh and after that I went back to ma crib.” He felt kind of bad for using her like that and her ending up pregnant.

“I'm sorry shawty.” He said kissing her hand, “I didn’t want this to happen, and I aint tha daddy type but I can try to spend time with tha kid.” He moved a strand of hair out of her face and let go of her hands. He wasn’t his usual self right now. He felt more caring, like all this had touched a spot in his heart. It felt, strange.

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771 WORDS | COMPLETE | Sherilynn | OUTFIT
LYRICS BY ALL TIME LOW | TEMPLATE BY ARRO
I THINK THIS IS GOING PRETTY GOOD

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[SHERILYNN ANNALISA CARTWRIGHT]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 475px; height: 500px; background-image: url(http://i1086.photobucket.com/albums/j451/corrupted-angel/SherilynnThread1.png); -moz-border-radius: 20px; border-radius:20px 20px 20px 20px; border: 2px solid #000000;] Tags / Credits TAGGED :: ANTWUAN / DUSTY WORDS :: 890 OUTFIT :: click me NOTES :: i'm sorry this took so long. comp troubles. CREDIT :: thread template made by callista, no stealing or i'll gut you. because these things will change Sherilynn worked to get full control of herself again, she absolutely hated puking but it was something she couldn’t control now thanks to being pregnant. Taking a few deep breaths she heard him say it was “coo” and his hand rubbing her back and was actually thankful for it. The contact was a little comforting since she hadn’t had anyone up to this point who’d tried to help instead of just shunning her or pretending like she wasn’t there in need of some form of help. Her parents were a waste of time if you went looking to them for help they didn’t give a shit and wouldn’t help her any sooner than they’d help a stranger with a contagious disease. pretty much is my fault…wouldn’t be happening if I’d been more careful. she said softly to his words of how it wasn’t her fault. She knew she’d screwed up by getting so drunk she remembered basically nothing and didn’t even have the sense while that drunk to think to make the guy use protection. She took a few more deep breaths ignoring the looks from people passing by the two of them since she knew that they were grossed out by her puking all over the edge of the sidewalk like she had. It wasn’t something she could take back and really…she doubted it would all taste any better the third time around, probably worse thanks to whatever was on the sidewalk. She just hoped she wouldn’t get fined for it or something, with the littering laws she had to wonder if there was one against puking all over the sidewalk as well. Looking up as Antwuan said he had to tell her something she kept her frown on lock-down so he wouldn’t see it just her recently learned blank face. listen I know it’s gross and you probably didn’t plan on dealing with a pregnant girl you don’t really know who can’t control her stomach today so I understand if you wanna just make a run for it about now. she said thinking that he was probably trying to come up with some excuse that would get him far far far away from her and where they were standing at the moment. She reached up to wipe her forehead and the few tears that had slipped down her cheeks, side effects of losing her breakfast were sweating a little and crying. She needed to get a grip and find a bathroom to get cleaned up in so she wouldn’t have to go back to her house for anything, she was beyond lucky that she hadn’t ended up wearing any of what came up just then as well. His question about her wanting to know who was the father of the kid she was carrying caught her attention though and she nodded a little thinking he was being polite and trying to make some form of small talk now. It would be nice to know instead of wondering…don’t think I ever will though. she said softly and rested a hand on her stomach without thinking about the action. She watched him, noticing the fear in his eyes but totally lost as to why he’d be afraid of her…she clearly wasn’t the sort to go around attacking people or whatever he was now thinking she’d do now. Lynn waited for whatever else he was going to say, not sure where this conversation was going and couldn’t hide the frown as he started to say something then seemed to consider running away. She couldn’t even begin to guess where this was headed and her confusion showed on her face probably but she was also curious. Listening she blinked in surprise when he said it was him and he was the baby’s daddy. Her tongue turning to stone in her mouth unable to even think of what the heck to say to that. Hearing him explain though she kinda felt a little sick again, not because he was the father but because she’d let herself get that drunk and because one of her biggest questions was actually one she got an answer too after not expecting one ever. She took a shaky breath and nodded slowly, his explanation made perfect sense in all honesty and she just kinda stared at him a moment as he kissed her hand and moved hair from her face. When he let go of her hands she seemed to snap out of it a little and blinked nodding again taking a deep breath. well…um…that answers that question… she said feeling like a total idiot but still wrapping her mind around the new information. th…thank you for telling me and…yeah you could do that, spend time around the kid if you want to…I don’t… she took another breath and let it out giving him a little smile. I won’t be like…hounding you for money or anything…I’d already expected to be doing this all on my own once I found out so you don’t have to worry about that…but knowing is a big relief you can…you can be in the baby’s life, I wouldn’t deny you rights to getting to know your own kid. she said glad she’d already thought of what she’d say to the baby’s father before so that now she knew something she could tell him.

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